Ok so this will be my rant…

So I have mentioned before that I am in a not so ‘conventional’ relationship. What I mean by that— I am with a man much older than me… I know what most people that see us together think either

  • A. I am a gold digger
  • B. I am a hooker or
  • C. I am his daughter

I am none of the above. Before I met him…  I was in a relationship with a musician who absolutely broke my heart. He cheated. He lied. He came crying back. I was dumb enough to go back, a couple times. He forgot to mention he was still married and trying to work things out with his wife, while he was telling me he wanted to marry me. Not quite sure how that would have worked out, but he was extremely selfish and a whole other chapter to be told. He would break me apart and then weasel his way back into my life until the lies started rolling again. He was a typical LA, Hollywood narcissist who really only gave a shit about himself and would decide that he had changed the moment he needed something or someone and be back on my phone CRYING. I became a man hater… Entered the adult industry for my second run and decided that there would be no more boyfriends for Blaklee… I was gonna figure this life out on my own…

Then came along the one guy who has ever made me feel like I can do no wrong-like there is no other woman who could ever compare. After being cheated on… I felt like I wasn’t good enough for anyone… He thinks I am too good for everyone and just wants to see me succeed in life.

It is really no ones business what happens between us but he cares for me and I care for him and he just wants whats best for me. He tells me everyday that no matter what happens with his day (and his life is very stressful) he wants me to be doing something that makes me happy. He works hard but he also has a lot of fun. Being that he makes a lot of money, I find that a lot of his ‘friends’ are a little to quick to ask for hand outs when they are in need. He is very generous. He doesn’t say no often, and anyone who has spent more than 5 minutes in a room with him can see how kind hearted and genuine he is. I understand when friends need help. NYC isn’t cheap. Its the ‘friends’ that really only make the call when they need something that bug me… He sees it too but he doesn’t like to see people struggle and then I get to hear about what pain in the asses these people are and how they can go on vacations and nice dinners but then all of a sudden their ‘cars are getting repo’d and need a ‘loan’ ASAP

Here was my issue

A couple days ago he mentioned to me that one of his ex girlfriends reached out to him about money issues— (she is still in his life because he helped her to start her own business— but only seems to reach out to him when she needs something). She actually became—what I thought was a pretty good friend of mine since meeting her thru him, which he wasn’t to thrilled on, or too thrilled on her in that case but if she seemed like a friend to me then he was ok as long as I was happy. Well its been made clear she was not my friend and I was only her gateway to keep him around so she could still be a begger when she needed. Bitch, you made your bed, sleep in it. I don’t care if you have money problems… Would you like me to show you a lesson in Hustling 101? For god sakes he funded your current business start up, you have a man, just because you guys are #failing at life doesn’t mean you can take advantage of what you lost. You know he is giving… You have proven yourself to be the taker he thought you were- and not the sweet little asian I thought you were.

Lesson learned… People really aren’t always what they seem to be… Gotta look out for yourself and prob not befriend you’re man’s exes— especially when he is telling you she is not what she appears to be.

About bed time… Night night photo??? Tomorrow I am off to DC!!! Yay, gonna get away for the weekend after yoga and a bit of a big meeting.

xoxo

Ill write from the train.

 

This is how country girls do it… Ain’t no thang…

Dear Adam Richman of the Food Networks ‘Man vs. Food’

I think we need to go head to head in one of your challenges 😉 my server at Orochon in Los Angeles said I kicked your ass at their #2 Spicy fucking ramen challenge 🙂 hahah well actually I asked him if I did and he said ‘oh ya ya you good, you little girl, vewwy vewwy impwessive’ I felt like a champ getting my picture on the wall of bravery. Like pow…

I destroyed that spice… Mama would be proud. Time and place baby, I don’t even break a sweat haha

Yum yum gimme sum

Naughty Blaklee

country-girl

Why I said hello and why I said goodbye to the oh so appealing world of pornography…

When I first entered the adult industry at 19 years old, I was a very uptight, overachieving & selfless human being who had been living like that for as long as I could remember.

I went through a traumatizing experience at 12 and had to grow up fast, I did it well. I lived my life for others, was addicted to straight A’s and perfection. I wanted to make my mom proud in all I did and I just wanted to be the best daughter I could be. I graduated high school at 15 (actually walked at 16) and moved 1200 miles from home to go to University of Colorado. I worked hard in school. I even managed to land a great job while in school because they didn’t realize how young I was. I worked my ass of for 3 years of Undergrad and then I met someone who reminded me of myself at her age—Always trying to please everyone else around her and not even realizing how unhappy she was. We decided to say screw ‘em all and after a few weeks of partying, long story short we found ourselves having sex and  cashing checks… It was time for me to live life on the wild side…

In the beginning, I promised myself I would leave the industry before the industry asked me to leave. I was making bank doing something so natural yet morally shunned, but still it was 100% legal, so i was in— I came into the biz having had 2 partners… I didn’t really care because these guys didn’t count as partners anyway. No matter the number of men i’ve been with on film, it was actually safer than going out and banging some stranger at the bar considering all the STD testing done in the industry. One of the first things I noticed in adult entertainment is that the newbies are the ones in high demand… Unless you have something ridiculously appealing about you or you are real nasty chick who does it ALL… I didn’t feel I was either one of those things and I wasn’t going to be one of the washed out skanks making ‘trades’ with directors to try and get themselves in a film so they could pay their rent and feed their addictions…

I later learned that there was another way out of the business. Many girls will meet guys who promise them the world and save them from the adult industry, but then they throw them out on their asses in a matter of months. I was at the peak of my career… I had just made penthouse pet, cover and centerfold, I was out in Vegas and I met a man who appeared to be someone resembling the ‘let me save you type’ mentioned above. I didn’t leave the business right away, I was flying high and still making a shit ton of money in the business and I didn’t feel I needed saved. As I got to know him and know the people around him better I realized that he really did care for me, and he would make it his life’s mission to make me happy. One and a half years later here we are… Still in this very unconventional and quite confusing relationship… But he still makes a point to no matter what the circumstance is let me know how special he thinks I am and how I can do no wrong. The things this man will do to make me smile… And he gives me free reign. If he thought I would be happier making movies still, thats where i would be… But we know better and he has me on a track to do what I have always wanted to do… That will come later.

Sweet Dreams xoxox

Ill get into why you may not call our relationship so conventional later… Its bed time for me… Ill try and get you a hello before yoga tomorrow…