Ok so this will be my rant…

So I have mentioned before that I am in a not so ‘conventional’ relationship. What I mean by that— I am with a man much older than me… I know what most people that see us together think either

  • A. I am a gold digger
  • B. I am a hooker or
  • C. I am his daughter

I am none of the above. Before I met him…  I was in a relationship with a musician who absolutely broke my heart. He cheated. He lied. He came crying back. I was dumb enough to go back, a couple times. He forgot to mention he was still married and trying to work things out with his wife, while he was telling me he wanted to marry me. Not quite sure how that would have worked out, but he was extremely selfish and a whole other chapter to be told. He would break me apart and then weasel his way back into my life until the lies started rolling again. He was a typical LA, Hollywood narcissist who really only gave a shit about himself and would decide that he had changed the moment he needed something or someone and be back on my phone CRYING. I became a man hater… Entered the adult industry for my second run and decided that there would be no more boyfriends for Blaklee… I was gonna figure this life out on my own…

Then came along the one guy who has ever made me feel like I can do no wrong-like there is no other woman who could ever compare. After being cheated on… I felt like I wasn’t good enough for anyone… He thinks I am too good for everyone and just wants to see me succeed in life.

It is really no ones business what happens between us but he cares for me and I care for him and he just wants whats best for me. He tells me everyday that no matter what happens with his day (and his life is very stressful) he wants me to be doing something that makes me happy. He works hard but he also has a lot of fun. Being that he makes a lot of money, I find that a lot of his ‘friends’ are a little to quick to ask for hand outs when they are in need. He is very generous. He doesn’t say no often, and anyone who has spent more than 5 minutes in a room with him can see how kind hearted and genuine he is. I understand when friends need help. NYC isn’t cheap. Its the ‘friends’ that really only make the call when they need something that bug me… He sees it too but he doesn’t like to see people struggle and then I get to hear about what pain in the asses these people are and how they can go on vacations and nice dinners but then all of a sudden their ‘cars are getting repo’d and need a ‘loan’ ASAP

Here was my issue

A couple days ago he mentioned to me that one of his ex girlfriends reached out to him about money issues— (she is still in his life because he helped her to start her own business— but only seems to reach out to him when she needs something). She actually became—what I thought was a pretty good friend of mine since meeting her thru him, which he wasn’t to thrilled on, or too thrilled on her in that case but if she seemed like a friend to me then he was ok as long as I was happy. Well its been made clear she was not my friend and I was only her gateway to keep him around so she could still be a begger when she needed. Bitch, you made your bed, sleep in it. I don’t care if you have money problems… Would you like me to show you a lesson in Hustling 101? For god sakes he funded your current business start up, you have a man, just because you guys are #failing at life doesn’t mean you can take advantage of what you lost. You know he is giving… You have proven yourself to be the taker he thought you were- and not the sweet little asian I thought you were.

Lesson learned… People really aren’t always what they seem to be… Gotta look out for yourself and prob not befriend you’re man’s exes— especially when he is telling you she is not what she appears to be.

About bed time… Night night photo??? Tomorrow I am off to DC!!! Yay, gonna get away for the weekend after yoga and a bit of a big meeting.

xoxo

Ill write from the train.